it is noon on a saturday morning and I am sitting in starbucks just beginning to contemplate the semester's worth of work I have avoided. a tall dark man wearing long silvery earrings and what appear to be horseback riding boots walks by my table and drops a folded over slip of paper on my computer. He smiles and walks to get himself a coffee. the paper is thicker card stock and where he has torn it are soft, jagged edges. i want to lick them they are so pristine. he has written his name, facebook, and email on this card. i am grossly mortified. i dont know how to react to this. because he hasn't directly approached me I am unable to employ my usual ignoring strategy. i feel compelled to respond in kind or perhaps through written words.
i spend several minutes agonizing over the appropriate course of action. time trickles along, marking the irrevocable path to the future.
two dark weeks loom ahead of me. i am listening to vampire weekend's 'horchata' and tegan and sara's 'feel it in my bones,' trying to recreate last year at this very time. one year and life is so different. you think something is not going to end or change and it does. subtly at first and then all of a sudden I am in 2011, dangerously close to graduation without a set future in sight and lukewarm excitement about said future. a sneaky, snarly thorn has found its way into my plans which seemed so bright and beautiful and fool proof at this time last year. i am not entirely sure I even want to be a teacher. i don't really know what else to do or how to use my degree in any other way. i am lost when i thought i would be most found.
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