charting my thoughts

School: Well, it has been quite some time since I have posted. Much has passed and I am sure much will come to pass. I think I like being a teacher. I think it works well for me. Year one is only about 10 days from closing up and it has gone over without any substantial issues. I like the age group I work with and I'm truly going to miss them. It is strange to want to be their friend because in most ways I really can't be without running into larger issues. I think the connections that I have made are pretty excellent. I would have never thought I would have so much in common with 13-15 year olds who grew up with a strong mexican heritage. I'm going to miss them terribly next year. Phoenix Life Things are so different in Phoenix. People are so different. The culture here is something I can't relate to. The art is stagnant. Julia and I both struggle with identifying how we can relate to people out here. We find ourselves mostly intellectually isolated. I'm not sure how much of that is our fault and how much of it has to do with ideology. People are just fundamentally different. My jokes go unnoticed and although I recognize that I am a bitch, I come off infinitely bitchier than I intend. After 500,000 failed attempts at making any snarky remarks I have resorted to not speaking in more complex terms than children ages 5-10 would understand. Do I sound bitter? I am. I am annoyed that education is not a priority and that people are comfortable with mediocrity. Although I am love with the sun, it seems to have drained people's ambition and drive. No one wants to experience more. All of this compounds my desire to leave after some time. Phoenix is never going to be a forever home. The isolation is suffocating and the beauty surrounding us doesn't make up for it. Living Together Waking up to her is amazing. Being free to be together is amazing. I can breathe. I can collect my thoughts and keep them whole. My heart is beginning to heal. The stitches are still fresh but I feel them coming together in a tighter, stronger grip. The distance from home is not a problem because my home is in her heart.